Perfect For Me
by Bubbel97
Summary: Mello struggles with the Kira case and Matt is trying the best he can to help him. But sometimes it's too much with their feelings for each other. If something goes wrong between them, will their love set things right? One-shot. MxM.


**MattxMello: Perfect For Me**

* * *

I opened the worn front door, stepped into the messy apartment and lit a cigarette. It was, to be honest, wonderful to finally be back.  
Even though the smell of junk food and cigarette smoke was thick in the air, I was happy about it. I inhaled deeply as I made my way to the living room. I could smell Mello's cologne, and that filled me with longing. How I'd missed that sweet chocolate-flavored scent! And my video games... and my best friend himself, of course.

"Matt!" Mello shouted when I entered the room. I could hear on his pissed off voice how much he had missed me, as well... My chocolate loving blonde was sitting on the couch, as usual, munching on some chocolate.

"Hey, Mello... you haven't disposed of my video games yet, I hope..." I looked around in the room in search for my technical toys.

"Why don't you greet me properly", Mello said and suddenly wrapped his arms around me from behind. I intertwined my fingers with his as a small smile graced my lips. "Hi, Mello."

After a while, he broke our embrace and frowned. "Something I didn't miss so much... your smoking." His voice was disapproving.

I shrugged. "You know I have to. Just like your chocolate addiction."

Mello didn't seem happy with it, though. I wondered if something had changed since I traveled back to England. I've been gone from Japan for a month; I needed to do some minor things for Roger back at Whammy's. Mello needed to stay here, to work with the Kira case. He was so determined to solve it - _before _Near did.

"That reminds me..." I wondered if he would be upset, I knew it was a sensitive topic for him. "How's it going with Kira?"

Mello stiffened beside me. He didn't answer. I could easily tell that he hadn't solved it yet - probably he hadn't even come closer to the resolve than before I left. And obviously, it was pissing him off.

I sighed, and gently rested my hand on his shoulder. "I know you can do it, Mello", I said quitely. "You'll beat Near, no doubt about it, man."  
To my surprise, he shook my hand off his shoulder and turned away from me.

"That damn Near..." he muttered, enraged. He snapped off a piece from his chocolate bar, as he always did.

I stub out my cigarette and sat down on the couch, starting to play my favorite Nintendo game. Mello sat down beside me and I could tell that he was still furious. He ate his chocolate with a scowl plastered on his face and glanced through a bunch of paper.

The silence was tense until I broke it with a call of victory: "Aw yeah! Take that, Palpatine! The galactic empire is gonna fall...!"

"Shut up", Mello snapped, stared intensively at the papers in his lap.

I stopped for a moment. Few times before, he had said something like that to me.  
But I knew that my friend was stressed, so I shrugged it off and lit another cigarette.

"Stop doing that", Mello snarled. Now I looked up in surprise: "What?"

He didn't look at me. "Stop smoking, now."

I stared at him with disbelief behind my goggles. I knew he wasn't fond of my habit, but he'd never said anything about it, except the first time we met after I found him again at the Mafia.

Mello turned around and glared at me. The scar on his face made him look nasty, I knew. When we showed up together in public I saw many people look at him with horror, wondering what kind of criminal he was. But I never thought about that. The scar was a part of Mello, and Mello was a part of me so it didn't matter. I liked it, anyway.

"What's the problem, Mels?" I asked him jokingly. "Have you already grown tired of this case?"

But that was completely the wrong thing to say right now.

Mello spun around, growling. "Matt...!"

Though I used to know how to deal with his temper, now I was completely unprepared. I supposed he was all to fed up with standing in Near's shadow. Poor Mello.

Just as I had expected, he was about to explode from frustration and anger. He stood up. "Get out from here, Matt! I'm so fed up with you!" he shouted. The blonde was enraged, and I was shocked.

I stood up as well and looked at him. "Mello..."

"Just get out!"

I had no idea why he acted out like this all of a sudden. But Mello could get furious sometimes, especially when he was frustrated with Near.

But he had never said something like this before.

Though it felt like my heart was going to shatter, I decided not to stay and try to talk with him. Sooner or later he would calm down anyway, I knew. But I wasn't going to be here then. I didn't want to be the one to always deal with his tantrums when I never was the cause of them.

I put on my usual facade and nonchalantly continued smoking.

"Fine."

I walked past him, seemingly unfazed. I half-expected Mello to do something - shout at me some more, or try to stop me and apologize. But he did nothing of it.

It felt as half of me was left behind, with Mello, when I took my car keys and walked out through the door.

* * *

**-Mello's POV-**

Fuck. Why did I have to throw a tantrum like that? And of all people in this rotten world, my best friend had to be there and take it all. Matt...

And I was standing there in the middle of our messy, unclean living room, alone, and hated myself for what I've done.

_You always let your emotions get in the way... Matt has always been there for you. And you give him shit, all the time...  
_

Fuck it.

"Matt!" I shouted. "Matt, wait!" I rushed to the front door, but it was already firmly shut.

Matt had left. And it was my fault.

Damn, who knew where he'd go now? The rational part of my brain had shut down the moment I realized that he was gone.  
No, no. I'm not letting him go. Damn it, I need him, why can't he realize? The mere thought of Matt leaving me here alone for good almost scared the shit out of me. I needed to find him. Right now.

* * *

**- Matt's POV-**

As I drove out of the town, I wished for nothing but a way to turn time back. I knew I shouldn't have acted out as well, I should've stayed there. I just was so fed up... Why couldn't I have stayed there?

I didn't see the surroundings anymore; everything turned black and white. As I drove past a small football field, a memory appeared in my head.

_I was playing with a soccer ball on the ground outside Whammy's House. Just eleven years old, carefree and happy, with a slightly over-sized striped t-shirt and my usual goggles covering my eyes. I waited for Mello to come; he had said that he would come out and join me when he was done with his homework. He always studied so hard to pass Near, but somehow, it was never enough._

_Mello is very smart, I knew this, but he never was satisfied with the result. Getting all answers correctly was far away from enough in his eyes. I didn't take this whole homework thing so seriously.  
_

_ It was a rather cold autumn day, and my goggles became blurry on the inside when I adjusted them. As I played around with the ball, suddenly some other boys of the orphanage walked over to me and took it from me. I hadn't seen them in time.  
_

"_Hey!" I exclaimed. "Give it back." _

_One of the boys grinned scornfully at me. "Try to get it back if you dare to, copper nob!"_

_Damn them. My hair isn't even red-_

_Angrily, I launched myself at them. "Give it back, it's mine!"_

_The boy - he was one year older than me and more heavy-set - gripped the front of my shirt and lifted me up a bit. He snapped his fingers against my goggles.  
_

_"Are you scared now, red-head?" He and his friends laughed. _

"_Let me down!" I protested. He released his grip and I crashed down on the hard ground.  
They picked up my soccer ball and began to play around me, intentionally hitting me hard with the ball a couple of times as I tried to stand up again. _

"_Copper nob! Copper nob!" They kicked the ball straight in my face and I heard a sound like cracking plastic. Did they break my goggles? In that case, I'd..._

_Suddenly the leader of the gang shrieked when something hit his head. Hard.  
He'd gotten another soccer ball straight in his head. Before he had time to do something, a strong hand gripped his hair and lifted him up as well._

_The boy came face to face with an enraged Mello. Mello was older than him and although he looked skinny, he was very strong. Mello drew his fist back._

"_What did you say about Matt?" he hissed._

"_N-nothing..." _

"_Stay away from him." And as he proceeded to punch the boy in his face, Roger showed up._

_"Mello...! What on earth are you doing?"_

_Mello glared at him._

"_You have to come to my office at once", Roger said, looking upset. "Near is already waiting. It's an urgent matter."_

_Reluctantly, but spurred by hearing his rival's name, Mello let the boy in his grip go as he muttered something angrily._

_Before he followed Roger in, he turned to me. "Are you alright?" he asked and examined me. I nodded and removed my goggles from my head to examine them as well. They weren't broken, there was just a small crack in the orange plastic. Now when my eyes were exposed, I felt vulnerable somehow._

_But Mello just looked deep into my eyes for a short moment, before he turned around and went into the house. He sent a final, warning glare towards the other boys._

_I was left, and I wondered what it was about, with him and Near.  
_

_That was the last time I saw Mello on Whammy's. When I went indoors later, I found out that he had left the orphanage all of a sudden. L was dead and he was determined to solve the Kira case before Near._

_But what about me? I wondered. We had been best friends ever since I arrived to Whammy's. Didn't that matter anymore?_

Why am I thinking about this now? I asked myself as I accelerated. Although there was some years ago, I still remembered clearly how hard it was to live without Mello on Whammy's, how hard it was to be alone... he was my only friend, and I was his only.

_And then I made up my mind and decided to follow him to Japan..._ I thought.

It's true, my heart was broken at that time. I couldn't rest, I couldn't breath properly until I found him again. And when I did... then it was too late to go back to the old times, when we were just best friends. It was more, more than that. And that's when I realized that I was in love with him.

When I thought about that, my longing started to grow again. We had actually been away from each other for a month now, and it wasn't right that we should be apart like this when I just had returned. Because, no matter what Mello does, nothing can change what I feel for him.

I sighed and exhaled deeply, enjoying the feeling of my cigarette. I know, I know, I really should stop smoking but it's so hard to do it... but I guess, if Mello tells me to, then I can manage it.

I decided to turn back and end this stupid quarreling. I turned the car and began to drive back, when I noticed that the tank meter showed zero.

I should've fueled it as soon as I returned to Japan! I really didn't feel like fueling right now, but there was nothing to do when I wanted to come home to Mello as soon as possible. I smoothly drove back to the nearest petrol filling station, just a mile away. I hurried so much I could; I had left almost all my stuff at home and I didn't want to make Mello worried…

Oh, wait a moment…

I began searching through my pockets and jacket for my wallet. _Damn, _I thought. I had forgotten it in our apartment. Now I couldn't pay… I looked around, kept my cool and wondered what to do now. How was I, to begin with, supposed to get home? And for the second thing – fuel?

But I wasn't worried or distressed in the least though, because I always glide through life with a smile and a cigarette in the corner of my mouth. That's how I am. And that's one of the things Mello had said that he loved about me…  
After all, I was a criminal, and I could just drive away without paying afterwards, of course. But it didn't work that way anymore.

And at the same moment, I noticed a certain long, thin blonde step of his motorbike. He nonchalantly strode over to me and leaned against the wall. He held up something worn and familiar - my black fuel card.

"You forgot something", Mello said quietly.

It was a mistake to move my gaze from the card in his hand, for when I looked into his icy blue orbs through the visor in his helmet, I forgot why I was even there. I should be sitting in our apartment now, playing Star Wars and kiss his chocolate-tasting lips...

He looked at me without any visible emotion, but I knew that he wanted to make everything alright between us again.

"Need a ride?"

I nodded, smiling. I quickly moved my car to the little parking at the petrol filling station and locked it. I would retrieve it tomorrow. Then I walked over to my best friend, who was sitting on the bike again. Mello handed me my helmet and I put it on and sat behind him, wrapping my arms around his slender waist.

As he began to drive out on the highway again, Mello muttered: "I'm sorry, Matt. I don't know why I said those things."

"Don't worry yourself about it, Mels", I said lightly. It was my way to tell him that everything was okay, and I knew he understood. I had already forgiven him the moment he showed up at the petrol filling station.

Silence fell between us as he accelerated and effortlessly zigzagged between cars and trucks. But I could clearly feel his relief and the silence was comfortable. I rested my head against his shoulder, looking at the surroundings. Everything had gotten color again.

.

And soon we were at home again. I realized now, how much I had missed it – the messy apartment that only belonged to me and Mello. When we entered it, I didn't even care to remove my shoes, I just wanted to collapse on the couch and play my video games.

Mello kicked his red boots off and followed me into the living room. It looked exactly as when I left it. But he stopped me from grabbing my Nintendo; he grabbed my hand and turned me around. I forgot my tiredness and everything else when I saw his face again for real.

Sometimes, I really wondered how one could be as perfect as Mello is. Mello is handsome, cool, amazing in every way. To me, in all my imperfectness, he is like a God. Actually, I would say he is. Even God makes mistakes sometimes. And now we needed time to just be with each other.

As I stared into his clear, blue eyes, my hands rose as of themselves to gently stroke his scarred cheek. I loved to touch his face. He looked intensively at me and placed his arms around my waist, dragging me closer to him. As I hugged that perfect creature that is Mello - my best friend and the love of my life - I felt complete again. He squeezed me and leaned his head against my shoulder.

I smiled. "Actually, I don't think we got a proper meeting before. I've missed you, Mels, you know."

Mello reached up. "I missed you too, Matt. Next time I'll be coming with you." It wasn't a request.

"Sure", I nodded, trying to conceal how happy I was about it, but my attention was dragged to his soft, yet firm lips that weren't scarred. We both reacted at the same time – and we met in a soft kiss, filled with longing, happiness and love.

Mello's dominant side took over and he began kissing me passionately. He ran his fingers through my messy, red-brown hair. I responded to the kiss, so happy to be at his side again.

When he let us breathe again, I chuckled. "You taste as sweet as always, Mels."  
Mello looked at me and I was so tempted to just kiss him again, but he pulled out his ordinary chocolate bar and took a bite. Which told me that everything was fine.

* * *

**-Mello's POV-**

I dragged Matt to the couch and we sat down, close together. Possessively I placed my arm around his shoulders. Matt belongs to me, that's it.

"But, you really should stop smoking", I said disapproving when he pulled out another cigarette from his pocket, along with his PSP.

"Really Matt, I'm just worried for you. It's not good for your health…" I pulled out a package of nicotine chewing gum that I had bought for him.

He smiled at me, that carefree, Matt-ish smile that always makes my heart melt, no matter how I try to resist. I just love everything about him, and that's true.

"I know, Mels. I've decided… I'll try to quit. For your sake."

I took another bite of my chocolate. "But do as you wish, you're still perfect in my eyes."

"…" Astonished, he looked at me wide-eyed through his goggles.

"What?" I asked and threw the annoying bunch of paper regarding the Kira case on the floor. Damn it, now I would spend time with my best friend, not fuss about my rival. Near could screw himself, or his toys. I decided that from now on, I wouldn't give a flying fuck about him or the Kira case.

"Mello…" Matt was still staring at me. "What are you talking about? _I'm_ not perfect, in any way."

I sighed and removed my arm from his shoulders. I leaned forward and pecked at his lips. "Yes, you are, Matty. For me you'll always be."

And it's true. Matt will always be everything I'm not, everything I look up to and want to be. And I love him so much.

* * *

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